Cock Blocking

Dear World,

In part two of my blog, I have decide to address the issue of "Cock Blocking", if you don't know what this means you shouldn't be reading my blog and if you'd like it explained please feel very free to fuck off, it is an issue that effects all people from all walks of life the entire world over. Ever second of every day a cock is blocked, sure enough as your reading this on your computer wherever you are in the world someone is performing this hideous act to a man or woman close to you.

There are however many different types of "Cock Blocks" and I shall address the ones I am familiar with but if you can think of one that I have left out please feel very free to bring it to my attention, although your probably wrong and I will dismiss any input or comments left as cuntish carry on!

The Accidental Block: this is the most common and least heinous of all the blocks and has been done by the vast majority of us. It is when a cock is blocked without intent by a blocker or blockers, usually by saying something fucking retarded to the man or woman that is about to give or receive the cock in question. It can also happen as a direct result of the raw sex appeal of the blocker, when he/she drags away a potential target from said "cocker", a less common occurrence as it is rarely brought to the attention of those around, but it happens!

The Bible Block: This is a block done in order to save a comrade who has either been struck down by excessive consumption of "grandma's old cough medicine" or lack of action otherwise known as sweaty palms syndrome. We've all done it seen a friend about to hop on the good foot and do the bad thing with a creature not quite farmyard not quite people but a horrible mix of both and stepped in and put the foul beast down or rescued the friend question despite the fact that he/she is furious with you and attempts physically violence because you drove off the "hottest guy/chick" in the club/public toilet, even though you did it with a crucifix and a machete!

The Nun Block: This is a block only ever carried out by females and ladies please do explain why this is only done by females? It baffles me and every other sexually enlightened male on the planet. A Nun Block is when a shrivelled up shrew of a best mate or D.U.F.F. steps in and stops a girl going home with what she thinks is a perfect gentleman who usually never does this type of thing but well make an exception due to how beautiful the said chick is. Is this because the D.U.F.F. in question is just a horrible dried up bottom feeding should live in a landfill hairy lipped bitch? I mean she says it's because she doesn't want you to think her mate is a slut, but this went out the window when her friend whispered in your ear how she can't wait to feel you inside her while your fingers were inside her, next to the ginger kid puking behind the speaker. This one as of this second truly is a doosie and one I can't quite fathom.


The Green Block: This ladies and gentlemen is the worst act another human being can perform. If you have ever done this you deserve a horrible death involving caustic soda coated tampons and a Tom Jones album. In fact if you have done this fuck off and stop reading my blog you motherless fuck! We've all seen this go down a guy/girl pulls a "hottie" and a "friend" of theirs steps in a outrageously blocks the giving or taking of cock for the simple fact they didn't pull nor could they pull due to hideous deformation of either body or personality, these people aren't even considered by Santa and are on their own special list known to Mr. Claus as the "Filthy Fucks" list, not to be confused with the "Filthy Fuck" list which is an infinitely more pleasurable list.



I'll leave you all with these words of wisdom, stop hatin' on a playa/playette and start appreciatin'!!!